


Thank You

by Straykisses



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddles, Depression, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Happy One Year Anniversary, Honestly this is hella fluff i swear, Hybrids, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kisses, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Purple Beanie, Self-Harm, Theyre all really soft but they also have problems, Writer! Jisung, thank you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:31:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17296046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straykisses/pseuds/Straykisses
Summary: Jisung just had a few problems. He will get better. He promises. He’ll get better.





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST OF ALL HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE FIRST TIME I EVER PODTED A FIC ONTO AO3. 
> 
> Please note Jisung’s character is based off my personality, but only his personality is based off me. None of the events in the story reflect real life events. 
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME AND READING MY STORIES. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. 
> 
> I just wanted you guys to know. As a way of showing my appreciation, i decided to write this. Some of you may see some familiar fic titles and comments lol. I’m sorry in advance if you weren’t mentioned in the story. I picked the most important fics that i’ve every written (important to me). 
> 
> Even if you weren’t mentioned in the story, please know that i still love you and i notice every single one of you. I recognize your usernames in bookmarks and kudos, so if you feel like a nobody, please know you are a somebody. I see you guys and i remember you guys. I love you all. Thank you so much. 
> 
> ENJOY!!!!

Honestly, looking back, Jisung never thought he would ever become a GOT7 fan fiction writer. He’s been reading Astro fan fiction for a while, and while he enjoyed them, he told himself he would never write anything for any group.

Well, after a few months, he started writing. It was January 30, 2018, when Jisung posted his first fic. He meant for it to be a story about his life, but told through the GOT7 members. After a while, it became too hard to write, so he decided to put it under a folder titled “Not gonna update.” 

Jisung was a little upset at first, but he didn’t really mind much after, he has tons of other fics that his readers love. 

One of his favorites called “Hoodie Season” is still one of his most popular fics. The comments on his stories mean a lot to him, and because this was Jisung’s first, it just meant even more.  

 **Lz** \- “Ahh this was so cutewee”

 **joneinyourarea** \- “MINHO YOU SNEAKY BOY.. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I” 

Jisung smiled as he read them. His first ever fic, getting such sweet responses as these, it made his heart burst.  

 

Jisung set down his phone once again, and returned back to the lesson on screen. There wasn’t really anything to pay attention to though. It was english class, and his teacher gave him work just for writing bullshit, so he just quickly wrote whatever was on the board and went back to reading more fanfic. 

 

Finally, the bell rang after what felt like hours. Jisung bolted out of the class room and ran around the corner of the building. He came to his favorite spot between the english and language buildings. It wasn’t the nicest place, but at least it was decently clean. There was minimal trash, and some dirt splattered against the beige wall. Quite a bit actually, but not enough to throw him off. All that mattered to him was that he had a place to hide from the rest of the population. 

“Hey Jisung! Is that you?” 

“Shit”, he thought to himself. He was hoping to have a quiet lunch yet again today. Jisung gently pulled the beanie on his head a little lower.

“Hey why are you over there?” The voice asked him. Jisung lifted himself up and walked out of the narrow path. 

“Hey, Hyunjin.” Hyunjin is one of Jisung’s only friends. Jisung isn’t too social, and although the two of them are close, the younger still likes his solitude more than anything. It’s been a while since the two have seen eachother, so while Jisung may have liked to be alone today, hanging out with Hyunjin wouldn’t be the worse thing.

The older boy sighed and pulled squirrel-looking boy into a tight hug. “I haven’t seen you in weeks and this is how you greet me.” There was a look of playful hurt on his face, but it was his wagging tail that gave him away. 

“Damn Jinnie i didn’t think you’d be this excited to see me.” He pointed to the others wagging tail. 

“Oops?”, he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, its just been a while since we’ve seen eachother.” It really has been a while. Last time they saw eachother was a week after they got back from Spring break, and during that week Jisung has spent most of his time in that small little alleyway between the classrooms.

“I can see that.” They both laughed. 

“Come on, lemme show you my new boyfriend.” Hyunjin says eagerly.

“Oh?” It’s been a while since the older had last been invested so much in someone. Hyunjin’s last boyfriend had been some abusing shit, who would pull on Hyunjin’s tail whenever he didn’t like something the puppy hybrid did. 

“Don’t be like that,” Hyunjin said. “I promise you Minnie isn’t like... you know who.” Jisung grimaced, unsure of how he feels about this ‘Minnie.’

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He crossed him arms. “I won’t like him until he proves himself worth of my precious puppy Jinnie.” 

Jisung tiptoes to allow himself to reach the top of Hyunjin’s head. He started rubbing and petting the older’s head, causing Hyunjin to let out a soft growl. 

“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Jisung asks playfully. 

Hyunjin let outs laughs of pleasure. “Me, Jisungie! Me!” 

Laughing breathlessly, Hyunjin grabbed the younger by the arm to the lunch room. 

 

“Seungminnie!” A red haired boy turned around and looking for the sound, when he finally made eye contact with Hyunjin. 

“Hyunjin!” The red head ran up to Hyunjin’s and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“Seungmin, this is Jisung, my best friend.” Hyunjin introduced. “Jisung, this is Seungmin, my boyfriend.” He said the last part a quieter than the rest. They both blushed red at the title. 

“Cute.” Jisung said outloud, causing the other two to burn a little brighter. 

“Hmm isn’t he?”, Seungmin scratched right behind Hyunjin’s ears trying to distract the two from his blush. The action ended up causing Hyunjin to purr almost like a cat would. 

“Damn Hyunjin. I thought you were a puppy hybrid, not a kitten hybrid.” Jisung commented.

Hyunjin pouted. “Shut up. His hands are just really soft.” He mumbled.

“Awww is my little puppy is getting shy. Ugh why must you be so cute.” Seungmin cooed. He cupped the older’s face in his hands and pinched his cheeks. “Ugh, why must you be so cute?”

“Uhhh guys?” Jisung said snapping them out of their lovey-dovey trance. He waved his hand in front of their faces. “I’m right here. Can you save the domestic shit for later?” 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes playfully. “Fine. Maybe if you got yourself a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be such a buzz kill.” 

Those words stung. Jisung knew Hyunjin didn’t mean it in a malicious way, but he’s always been labeled as either a joke, or a party pooper. 

“Fuck off”, Jisung laughed dismissively. “I happen to enjoy being single.” No he didn’t. He wished he had someone to love and cuddle with. “Come on class is about to start soon. We need to get to chem.” 

“Fine,” Hyunjin pouted. “Bye Minnie!” He said directing his attention to his boyfriend. “I’ll see you later.” He pressed his lips to the others cheek.

“Ok baby. Have fun!” 

The split their paths down the hall. Seungmin’s math class being on the east side of the school, while Hyunjin and Jisung had chemistry on the west. 

 

•

 

He laid on his bed wide awake, and just admiring the silence, when suddenly, he was hit with a wave on inspiration.

“Hmm, what to write? Oh! I know!” Jisung opened up Archive of Our Own on his phone, and began typing away. His next idea was a 2Jae fanfic where JB and Youngjae have been pining for eachother for a long time. He planned on naming it “I’m Right Here.” 

Jisung’s always been a sucker for sappy fics. He couldn’t explain it, but it’s just so fucking adorable. He ended up writing a story about two teenagers who have known eachother forever, but ended up confessing their feelings in some coffee-shop owned by their friends.

 

“Finally done!” He smiled to himself as he finished typing and finally posted the story. 

“Jisung! Time to eat!” He heard his mom call from downstairs. 

Although his stomach rumbled, he really didn’t feel like eating. 

“Ok mom! I’ll be right there.” He pocketed his phone and made his way downstairs.

 

His mom cooked spaghetti. He could smell it from his bed room. Although it’s always been his favorite, he’s been getting sick of eating. Always eating too much. He hates how once he starts, he always ends up with a stomachache from eating too much. His family loves that he can eat well, but Jisung only does it for them. They still don’t know that he’s been skipping meals when he can.

 

“How was dinner?” His mom asked when they finished.

He looked up and was met with soft caring eyes. She’s hasn’t always been so loving toward her son.

“It was good mom. Thank you.” 

Her smile turned softer. “You’re welcome.” 

Jisung picked up the plates and silverware and brought them to the sink, but was stopped when his mom pulled him in for a hug. 

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you too mom.” 

She pet the short brown ear that stuck out of his head, and let her hand ghost the stub next to it. 

“Does it still hurt?” She asked him. 

Jisung shook his head. “It hasn’t for a while.” 

His mom pressed a kiss into his forehead. “Good.” His mom pat the little fluff ball that stuck out from his sweat pants. They were the pants that he wore only at home, because they were specialized for tails. “I’m glad they didn’t cut off your cute little tail.” 

“Moooom,” he dragged out. 

She laughed. “What? Is it bad that i love playing with your squirrel tail?”  

Jisung pouted, but he knew she was just playing around with him.

“Haha ok fine. I’ll let you go do the dishes.” 

“Finally.” 

She laughed once again squeezing Jisung in an even tighter hug, then made her way to the couch. 

Despite them having many arguments in the past, and his mom’s initial reaction to the fact he was a hybrid, they finally started to get along once again. Jisung still remembers the day he woke up and saw the tail and ears on his body. 

 —

_”Jisung! What is that!”_

_He did not expect his mom to react this way when she found out. Jisung had woken up that morning, to be met with a pair small brown ears and a bushy tail. The ears were brown with a black stripe going down the middle. His tail was like a large brown cotton ball above his tailbone._

_Most hybrids begin showing their traits around age 14, and the limbs appear at age 15. Jisung had turn 15 a week ago._

_“What the fuck happened to you! You’re a monster!” She screamed at him._

_Maybe that’s when it all started. His fear of showing the world what he truly was._

_“I thought i was raising a perfectly normal kid! Not a fucking rodent.” She said as she slammed her cup onto the counter._

_“Mom. I-”_

_“Don’t you dare call me mom. I’m not your mom. I did not give birth to a rat.” Her words were like venom._

_“Mom please,” he begged._

_“Shut up!” She threw the glass cup at his head._

_It shattered on his forehead._

_He didn’t even realize he was bleeding, until he felt the metalic taste in his mouth._

_“I- I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m sorry.” He said he was sorry. But why was he sorry? It’s not like he had control of how he was born._

_“Shut up! Get out of my house!”_

_“Mom ple-”_

_“Get the fuck out!”_

_Jisung ran upstairs and grabbed the first bag he saw and tossed whatever he could find into it. A flurry of clothing filled his room as he rushed to not upset his mom further._

 

_When he was finished, he found his mom standing by the door, holding it open for him._

_“Out.” She said, short and stern._

_Jisung slowly made his way to the door._

_“I’m sorry mama. I love you.”_

_When he made it out the door, he heard it slam shut and the lock click. He didn’t need to turn around to know his mom had just kicked him out._

_Jisung was unable to move. So he just fell to the floor. He sat there, and cried. Blood dried on his forehead. His favorite purple beanie pulled over his head, just barely covering his monsterous ears._

 

_When he woke up again, he wasn’t on the floor anymore. He was in his bed, but he wasn’t alone._

_He looked up to see his mom at the foot of the bed. She wasn’t crying, or angry. She just sat there and looked around his room. She wasn’t disgusted, she just admired the posters around his room. She will never know how the idols on the wall saved her son’s life._

_“Mom?” He said softly, still too afraid to speak._

_Her head shot around quick. Tears immediately started falling down her cheeks, and a jumble of words came spewing out of her mouth at a mile a minute._

_Jisung couldn’t register anything she said. He was still in shock, but the last thing he heard before he fell back asleep was “I love you, baby my Jisungie.”_

 —

It’s been a year since his mother found out he’s a hybrid, and within that year she learned to love him again. She realized that although Jisung is now a hybrid, he is still the same old Han Jisung she gave birth to 16 years ago. 

 

 •

 

He felt his phone vibrate to tell him he got a notification. He opened his phone and saw an email from Archive of Our Own.

**Comment on ‘I’m Right Here’**

He smiled at the little pop up, but pocketed his phone to do the dishes.

 

When he finished he grabbed a cup and filled it with water, before taking a seat next to his mom on the couch.

“Anything to watch?” He asked her. It was almost like their thing to spend almost every night watching tv together. It was like their mother-son bonding time. 

“Yeah i think your favorite, Chicago Med is there.” She handed him the remote. 

He took it and checked the DVR to see if it was recorded. And well, it was. He played it, and went back to looking at his phone. 

Jisung’s finger hovered the notification, and finally clicked it. 

 

 **Lz** \- “AHHH omg this was so cuteeee”

 **straykidsseungjin** \- “OMGGG ARE YOU SURE THIS IS TOUR FIRST TIME WRITING?? because imo this is sooo good for a first time ouo”

 

Jisung sometimes thinks so himself, his readers will never know how happy they make him.

To he honest growing up, he was never much of a writer or reader. In fact, he hated doing both of those things. Maybe the only reason he started reading was because of the smut? Or maybe the only reason he started writing was because of all the A’s he got on his english essays. Honestly, it could have been the way it allowed him to relieve stress.

Either way, it lead to him finally producing his own works, that lead him to finally feeling like he has a purpose other than being just a mistake. 

Although it made him happy, he chose to keep his writing to himself, not allowing anyone to read it but the strangers online. It was still a bit embarrassing to him that he was a writer. It felt so much easier to do behind a screen where no one knows who he is. 

“Jisung, who are you texting?” His mom asked curiously. 

“Oh just my friends,” he lied. It was easier to say that than to confess to his mom he had become a fanfic writer and loved writing stories of people falling in love. 

“Oh ok.” And that was the end of the conversation. 

 

• 

 

He woke up the next morning feeling just as dead as he usually did. Thank god it was finally Saturday. If he had to deal with another day of school that week he might have just killed himself. 

Jisung turned to his side and looked at his clock. Bright, bulging, red letters screaming 12:57pm shown on the small digital clock. 

He groaned into his pillow. 

“Why couldn’t i get more sleep!” He was too busy spending the previous night writing to actually sleep at a normal time. The last time he checked his clock before he fell asleep, it said 4:26am. It’s become a habit at this point to produce a new fic almost every night. To be honest he didn’t actually care much. It not like he ever got a normal amount of sleep on a regular day.

Jisung checked his phone to see if he had and new comments on his fic. 

**Comment on ‘You’re Lucky I Love You’**

Half asleep, he opened up the notification to see the new comments. 

 **cami-** ”this was sooooo good, i love it!!!! <3” 

 **elitello** \- “I LOVEEEEEE THIIIIIIIISSSS <3<3<3” 

Jisung quickly wrote back a reply saying thank you. He always wanted to make sure his readers felt appreciated, and he wanted to let them know how much their comments meant to him. 

To be honest, today was starting off pretty well. He received some nice comments, and he didn’t completely feel like dying, even after waking up before 3pm. Maybe today could just be a day to relax. 

Jisung jumped out of bed and took a nice warm shower, then picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and his favorite burgundy hoodie. He put on a belt and slipped on his couple’s ring. 

Jisung wasn’t actually dating anyone. Although it was a couple’s ring, he actually originally bought it with best friend Felix. They agreed to wear it on their middle fingers because who doesn’t love flipping people off.

 

Felix was all the only other person who knew Jisung was a hybrid. The reason for Jisung trusting him so much were the facts that they had known eachother for years, and literally did everything together, and the fact Felix was a kitten hybrid. 

Felix developed his cat ears and tail before Jisung did, even though the bunny hybrid’s birthday was a day before the kitten’s. 

They used to spend every day together. Felix would come home with Jisung after school, and they would mess around rather than do homework, but ever since Felix moved, they haven’t been able to see eachother often. 

The kitten only moved about an hour away, and they saw eachother from time to time after making plans weeks in advanced, but it was still hard to keep up their friendship. 

Felix checks up on Jisung from time to time, and even makes sure the older is still wearing his ring. It made the older laugh, but still assure the younger he was wearing his ring. 

Jisung really missed Felix. He wished they could see eachother again soon, but because they’ve been so busy, it’s just too hard. 

Jisung just sent Felix a text saying “I miss you” and made his way out of the house. Not before pulling on his favorite purple beanie, and giving his mom a kiss goodbye. 

 

•

 

Tall green trees sat nicely in their freshly trimmed lawn. They stood tall, the green contrasting the brown, making the color shine even brighter, and all the more beautiful. Walking down the street, he admired the neighborhood, and reflected on his life.

Jisung was wearing a simple orange flannel paired with black skinny jeans, with only a few rips. He opted for the more “intact” jeans. He felt that his outfits recently had been looking a little too revealing.

He remembers that one time he went by himself to a concert, and he wore a white crop top, fishnets pulled up to his belly button, and black short shorts that revealed his shaven legs, all paired with a cute purple beanie. Knowing that no one he knew would be there, he decided to make himself look good. It wasn’t often he got to show himself off like this. Normally he would be too afraid to, surrounded by his judgmental peers. He’d rather not gather too much attention to himself around people he knew. So a concert filled with strangers? To be honest it’s one of the places where he would happily show off as much skin as he could. He’d never admit it, but watching people stare at him like he was the most beautiful boy in the world, was something that just made him feel better about himself. He didn’t feel shy. He didn’t feel scared. He just felt... Happy. Like he could finally be the Jisung he always was. But where he lived, although it was considered one of the more “accepting” schools- of other races, sexualities... and well of course, hybrids- he still felt like he just couldn’t be himself there. 

His friends Chan and Woojin flash to mind. They were not only a same-sex couple, but they were also a human and a hybrid couple. They were an affectionate couple too. And didn’t hesistate to show it. Not only weren’t they afraid to show how affectionate they were, but at times, they would dress as slutty as they could. 

Sometimes Chan would show up to school in a crop top hoodie and ripped jeans, with some eye shadow and highlighter, just to make Woojin go wild. 

Sometimes, it would be Woojin showing up in a tight button up shirt with the first few buttons undone. He half tucked in the shirt and styled his hair back, and also wore some skinny jeans because he knew how much Chan loved his butt and thighs. 

People at school would look at them with mixed emotions in the crowd. While some were supportive, others were absolutely disgusted. Shouting out nasty comments, and leaving notes telling them to kill themselves. 

Chan even once confided into Jisung how sometimes he would tempt himself, how he would dare himself to just swallow a bunch of pills, or close his eyes and let his body slowly fall backwards off the building. 

It shattered Jisung’s heart. The cruelty in people was something he couldn’t understand. 

The beanie he wore, although it looked normal, felt lopsided as he rubbed his head. He knew very well the cruelty of people. He wished it never happened.

 

•

 

He heard the door ring as he entered the convenience store. Normally, Jisung would avoid eating snacks, but something inside him just wouldn’t say no. 

So now here he was looking through the refrigerators for a bottle of strawberry milk. 

“Strawberry? Really?” The boy heard a voice speak out of nowhere. 

Jisung turned around to see a boy, slightly taller than him and... very, attractive. 

“H-huh?” He cutely stuttered out. ‘Fuck you’re fucking this up!’ Jisung covered his face in embarrassment. He didn’t want the attractive man to see him so red and flustered. 

“Cute.”

There’s no way he could have heard that right. Jisung’s head shot up, and he stared right at the man, who was shooting heart eyes right into his soul.

“What did you say to me?” Jisung’s voice came out choppy, and insecure. This however, only made the other seem to laugh harder.  

“I said you’re cute.” Stated as a matter-of-fact. His sweet honey voice sounded like music to his ears. Jisung could feel himself swooning for the man already. “I’m Minho,” he held out his hand. “What’s your name?” 

Jisung quickly patted down his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

“Jisung,” he said as he took the other’s hand in his own. 

“Jisung,” Minho repeated for what Jisung could only understand as him trying to remember his name. “It’s cute. Just like you.” 

The squirel crosses his arms and turned his head to the side. “Stop calling me cute.” 

“Why can’t i beautiful?” Oh Jisung was falling deep for this man. 

“B-because, you’re the cute one.” He tried to curl himself smaller as if to shrink out of existence, out of this situation. 

Now it was Minho’s turn to blush. Damn, he may have been very flirty, but once you turn the tides, it’s game over for Minho. 

“H-here,” the taller stuttered. “Let me buy you this strawberry milk, and maybe take you on a date?” 

Jisung froze. “A date?” The blood drained from his body. “I-i-” He couldn’t get the words out. His vision soon started to become blurry as his eyes darted rapidly. “No!” Was all he could scream out. He dropped the milk in his spot, and bolted out the door of the convenience store, leaving a very confused Minho in his place. 

 

•

 

Jisung turned the corner and slumped against the wall of the alleyway. 

He shakingly pulled out his phone and dialed the number he know would answer the quickest. 

“Woo- Woojinnie-Hyung.” The name of his friend fell out of his mouth, loud and heavy. 

“Jisung?” 

“P-please come. I-I need your help.” His sobs soon became louder than they once were. His words coming out hardly comprehensible. 

“Jisungie. I need you to calm down. Where are you?” 

He inhaled deeply, and released slowly. “I-I’m next in the alley between ‘Coffee and Tae’ and ‘Minvenience Store’.” 

“Okay i’ll be there soon. Focus on calming down your breathing.” 

“Okay,” he breathed out as he hung up his phone. 

Jisung pulled his knees into his chest and wrapped his arms around his body, trying  to make himself as small as possible.

“One-two-three-four in.” He counted. “Five-six-seven-eight.” He exhaled. 

 

The minutes waiting for Woojin were excruciatingly long and painful, but the next thing he knew, he was being scooped up into the arms of a man with brown bear ears. His body felt so nice and warm, Jisung fell asleep in his comforting embrace. 

 

•

 

When Jisung woke up again, he was in a bedroom. Not his own, but familiar. He recognized the Day6 posters that hung on the walls, and the little alarm clock that held a picture of Jisung hugging two boys. One with round brown ears, and the other curly blonde hair. 

 

Jisung got up from the bed, making his way out into the living room, where he saw Woojin staring fondly at the blonde curled up in his lap. 

Woojin looked up to see Jisung standing in the door frame. 

“You’re awake. Come here.” He said, pushing his boyfriend off his lap. “Sit on my lap.” 

Jisung did so, hugging Woojin tight. He soon started sobbing into the crook of the other’s neck. 

“There, there Jisung. You’re okay now.” Woojin rubbed Jisung’s back in an effort to help him calm down. “Woojinnie-Hyung is here now. You don’t need to keep crying.” 

Jisung pulled his face back and Woojin wiped his tears. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” The older offered. “Channie is here too if you want to talk to the both of us?” 

Chan rubbed the back of Jisung’s neck, and start to make his way to his head, but was quickly stopped when Jisung slapped his hand away. 

The blonde looked hurt. “I’m sorry. I’ll just- I’ll just go leave you two alone.” He sent Woojin a half-smile, and made his way to the bedroom, leaving Woojin and Jisung alone.  

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just-” Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill. 

“It’s ok. Chan is ok. He’ll understand. He still doesn’t know about what happened to your ear.” Woojin pulled off Jisung’s beanie, and pet the younger’s head. “I wish this never happened to you.” 

Jisung flinched as Woojin traced his hand over his ears. He still wasn’t used to his stub being touched by anyone by his mom since the incident. 

“Do you want to talk now? About what happened that made you breakdown?” Woojin pushed Jisung’s bangs back, allowing him to look into the younger’s eyes.  

Jisung nodded, avoiding eye contact with the male. 

“Someone-,” he said slowly. “Someone asked me on a date.” 

He looked up slowly to see Woojin’s proud dad smile plastered on his face. 

The next thing he know, he was being suffocated in another tight bear hug from the older. 

“Jisungie. My sweet, sweet Jisungie.” Woojin pushed his bangs back and kissed his forehead. “You’re going to be fine. There’s nothing wrong with someone asking you out.” 

“I know but... I still have nightmares from that night.” 

Woojin sighed. “Not everyone is the same as that asshole. Why don’t you give this guy a chance? What’s his name?” 

“His name is Minho...” Jisung played with the hemming of his shirt. “He called me cute.” 

“Was he cute?” 

He blushed as he answered. “Yes,” he said shrinking smaller. 

“Next time you see him, why don’t you get to know him. Maybe he’ll surprise you?”

Jisung seemed to contemplate the idea for a second. “Can i spend the night here?” 

“Of course you can.”

After a moment of silence Jisung spoke up again. 

“Do you think it’s time i tell Chan about what happened?” 

Woojin smiled. “I think it’s time.” 

 

•

 

Jisung finally got home the next morning. His mom hardly questioned why he was out for so long. Jist the mention of Woojin was enough for her. She trusted him with her son’s life. She knew everything Woojin’s done for Jisung, was eternally greatful.

All she bothered to ask Jisung, was the next time he would be over for dinner. Jisung grinned and told her he would ask him to come this weekend. 

 

He tossed the purple beanie onto his desk and quickly threw off his clothes to take a shower. Immediately after, he plopped himself onto bed and pulled up Archive. 

It was almost 11pm, but that never stopped him from writing another story. 

By 2am he was finished with his next fic, and posted it. He titled this one “The Loves of my Life.” Once he was done, he plugged in his phone on the counter, and fell fast asleep. 

 

•

 

Once he woke up, he eagerly opened his phone, awaiting any new comments, but he saw none. Soon his excitement turned into sadness. He had been hoping to see a nice comment from one of his readers, but when he opened the website, he saw that the story hardly had any hits or kudos. 

It crushed Jisung’s soul. Writing was one of his new favorite things to do, but maybe people really didn’t like it as much as he hoped. 

Jisunt grudgingly got up from his bed and made his way downstairs, where his mom sat on the couch watching a new episode of Law and Order. 

“There is left over fried rice in the fridge if you want some.” She told him, after they had greeted eachother. 

“I’ll eat some later. I’m not really that hungry right now.” 

“Okay. It’s up to you.” 

He walked up to his coffee machine and poured some water. Since he got it, he made sure to use it to heat some water to make himself some tea each day. 

“There are bananas too on the counter.” 

“Okay i’ll have one.” 

She still didn’t know about her son’s discomfort with eating, but still she tried to urge him to eat. 

Today was Sunday, which meant now it was time for him to catch up on all the homework he didn’t do from the previous day. 

Jisung grabbed their family computer, grabbed 3 text books, and made his way to his spot at the table. After he put a tea bag into his cup and poured some water and grabbed a banana, finally making his last trip before seating himself at the kitchen table. 

 

He was just about to start his homework, when he saw his phone flash open. 

_Woojin- Are you okay?_

_Jisung- Yeah i’m fine_

_-I feel better now_

_Woojin- Thats good. Don’t forget to do your homework, and sleep early tonight._

_Jisung- How did you know i didn’t start my home work yet?_

_Woojin- Because you’re you_

_Jisung- shdidjejf ok fine i’ll start my homework now_

_Woojin- I love you. Get some rest._

_Jisung- Kind of hard to get some rest if i’m forced to do homework_

_Woojin- Jisung._

_Jisung- hsidjdjejf Love you too! Bye!_

_Woojin- Bye_

He set down his phone, mentally preparing himself for the Advanced Trigonometry work he was about to face, when suddenly his phone flashed up again. 

**“Comment on ‘The Loves of my Life’”**

Jisung immediately dropped his pencil and opened up the comment. 

 **Fhree13** - I'm as soft as a marshmallow~ ￣へ￣=￣ω￣=

It was a simple comment, but it was enough to make his heart burst. 

He quickly replied back. 

 **Straykisses** - HAHAHHA. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Now finally, he started his trip into Trig Identities. 

 

•

 

Math probably has to be his least favorite subject. He’s been placed in the advanced classes since he was younger, but now he’s just struggling to survive. 

As a kid he managed to excel, but now he’s hardly passing Advanced Trigonometry. 

So now here he was, a few days later, sitting in the public library alone with a math textbook laid out in front of him. 

He wrote down the first problem, but as soon as it became time to solve it, his mind went blank. He just sat there in silence thinking how to solve it, when a tall boy shows up and sits down next to him. 

His roundish cheeks and sharp jawline look familiar, but that was when he looked into the boy’s eyes and realized he knew him. 

“Hey Jisung.” Minho. It was Minho from the convenience store. 

“I-I.” He felt the tears poke at his eyes, when he felt a hand rest on the small of his back. 

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Minho used his index finger and thumb to lift up Jisung’s chin, forcing them to make eye contact. “I wanted to apologize to you.” 

“A-apologize?” 

Minho nodded. “Yes, apologize. I shouldn’t have been so direct. I didn’t know how you would react to it. I’m sorry.” 

Jisung sat there in shock. He certainly did not expect this to happen while trying to do homework in the library. 

“What’s this? Are these trig identities?” Jisung was quickly snapped out of his daze to see a sparkly eyed Minho staring at his textbook. “These are my favorite!” 

“Really?” Jisung asked in disbelief. “I don’t get them at all.” 

A light bulb lit up in the taller boy’s head. “Hey! Why don’t i tutor you!” 

“Tutor me?” 

“Yes! Tutor you! Why not?” 

Jisung mulled over the idea for a while, but eventually said yes. 

“Yes!” Minho punched his fist into the air. “I won’t let you down.” 

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad?

 

 

By the end of the day, Jisung had gained a newly found appreciation for math. Maybe not the concepts in math, but he might have been a little bit grateful it allowed him to connect with the cute boy who decided to help him. 

_‘Stop. Don’t let yourself get too close. He’s just going to hurt you. He’s just going to hurt you like Taeyang did.”_

_Jisung shook his head trying to avoid the voices. ‘Stop. No he’s not. He’s actually sweet.’_

_‘Please. He’s only acting like that so he can get in your pants. Once he finds out what you are, he’s probably just gonna throw you to the curb. Just like Taeyang once did.’_

_‘N-no. Minho is different. He would never hurt me.’_

_‘You said the same thing about your precious little Yangyang. Now tell me where your ear is.’_

Jisung curled into a ball on his bed. He threw a blanket over himself, and buried his body in stuffed animals for comfort. He hid his face in his pillow in order to hide the sounds of his cries. 

He’s gone so long without these horrible thoughts. Why must they come back? They shouldn’t be back. 

So that’s how Jisung spent the rest of his night. Lying in bed, screaming and crying. Remembering what it felt like to lost his ear, and his first love. 

 

•

 

The next morning he woke up a mess. His hair stood up in odd places, and tear stains covered his cheeks. Eyes swollen and red, cheeks big and puffy. Jisung quickly took a cold shower to hopefully calm down his unnatural features. They helped for the most part. The only thing the shower didn’t help, were his violent, abusive thoughts. 

 

Jisung spent most of the school day avoiding everyone. It wasn’t odd for him to do so, so nobody really noticed, but that didn’t help the empty feeling he had inside. 

In an effort to calm himself down, Jisung decided to open up Archive of Our Own in an effort to clear his mind. 

 

In his efforts to destress, all he could come up with was a suicide story. It was his first one. He decided to title it “Heaven” and base it around a suicide note from Youngjae to Jaebum. 

If he were being really honest, he wished he had the courage to end it all as well. 

But as if that one suicide story wasn’t enough, he decided to write a second one. This time, he named it “Smoke.” Jisung first got the idea for the story from a project in his psychology class, but after a few tweaks to the story, he managed to finally write it and post it onto Archive. This was the time he finally started to get dark. Now was the time his account took a turn towards darker concepts and themes. 

 

•

 

Now he was in his chemistry class. Jisung’s teacher could care less about what he did in the class, so Jisung spent most of it just reading fan fiction. He was quickly pulled away from his story, when he saw he had received a few comments on his stories. 

**“Comment on ‘The Loves of my Life’”**

**“Comment on ‘Heaven’”**

**“Comment on ‘Heaven’”**

**“Comment on ‘Heaven’”**

Jisung’s eyes widened. This couldn’t be real. There’s no way he got this many comments. 

When he opened them up, he was surprised to see the reactions people had to his stories. 

The first was a comment on his story “The Loves of my Life.”

 **justkindaawkwardk** - I love those three so much*~* This story made me smile so hard, thank you for cheering me up:D

The last three were on Heaven. 

 **lolaluvslai** - OH MY GOD I'M CRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL STORY HOW TWO BOYS ARE IN LOVE AND REUNITED AFTER DEATH

THE STORY PROGRESSION WAS VER NICE AND SMOOTH IT BEAUTIFULLY CAPTURED EMOTIONS AND DELIVERED THEM WITH POWER

PLEASE KEEP UP THE GREAT AND WONDERFUL WORK!

 **alieemahgis** - OML THIS WAS GREAT DJJDJD  
You totally made me cry my poor babies but it was a happy ending after all!! This was written so well please keep writing more <3

 **Scene_** **stealers** - I'm crying so hard...I mean really ...This is soooo nicely written so much so that I literally felt everything kinda like a kick straight to my stomach leaving me hollow ..  
I usually steer away from fanfics with a major character deaths but this ..I'm sooo happy I read it coz in the end they could finally be together <33 (thankuu for the happy ending tho otherwise i would probably have ended up as a miserable crying lump for the rest of the day♡♡♡♡♡)  
I really want to and wish i could give u a million kudos for this ♡♡you totally deserve it.. this is AMAZING .

 

For once, Jisung felt like he was finally a part of the writing community. To be able to receive such high praise felt like a right of passage. Although this was a very sad story, it made Jisung feel a stronger need to write. Not because he wanted the comments, but because he wanted to make his readers happy with his stories. 

From now, he decided he would put more thought into his stories, and make them all the more better for his readers. 

 

•

 

A month went by since he posted Heaven and since he started getting tutoring from Minho. It hadn’t really felt like a month. The days just went by so fast. By now, the two had gotten a little closer. Jisung finally felt more comfortable around Minho, and decided it was time to take up the older on his offer from a month ago. 

“Minho? Can i talk to you about something?” Jisung played with the hems of his shirt while waiting for Minho to finally put down their Starbucks coffees. 

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

Jisung really didn’t know where to start. “Do you remember a month ago, how you asked me out at the convience store?”

A smile began to play its way onto Minho’s face.

“You mean the day i asked you out and you ran away from me?”

Jisung blushed and hit Minho on the arm lightly. 

“Shut up. I wasn't expecting it.” He pouted. “You know what forget it.” 

Minho wasn’t going to just let Jisung drop the topic so easily, so he grabbed Jisung by the hand and forced him to sit down. He cupped the younger’s face in his hands and stared him directly in the eyes. 

“What did you want to talk about?” 

“I-I uh-” 

“Come on don’t just leave me hanging Sungie.” 

Jisung removed Minho’s hands from his cheeks, and held them in his own on his lap. He looked away bashfully. 

“Would you like to go out with me?” He said trying to ignore the fact he looked like a tomato. 

Minho removed his right hand and cupped Jisung’s cheek with it, still holding Jisung’s other hand in his left. 

“I’d love to baby.”

 

•

 

A week later, and they’re on their first date. 

Jisung decided to bring Minho to his favorite coffee shop. It was owned by a sweet elderly couple who absolutely adored Jisung. The boy knew he could get a good deal on his favorites here, so he decided, why not. 

 

Jisung showed up first, wearing a blue flannel on top of a black shirt and black skinny jeans, and his purple beanie to match the rest. He found a table for the two of them and patiently waited for Minho arrive. 

Jisung looked up at the sound of bells ringing, announcing that someone had just walked through the door. He saw minho wearing a maroon colored hoodie with black pants, and the glasses that he had that always made Jisung fall just a little bit harder for the older. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” 

Both boys sat in silence, sharing awkward gazes at eachother, and shy glances. 

“Do you want me to get you something to drink?” Minho was the first to speak up after their excruciatingly long silence. 

“Huh? Oh yeah sure.” 

“What do you want?” 

“Mhmm,” Jisung seemed to contemplate it for a moment. ‘ _Tell_ _him_ _nothing_. _You_ _don’t_ _deserve_ _to_ _eat_ _you_ _fatass_. _Look_ _at_ _yourself_. _You_ _deserve_ _to_ _starve_.’ “I- uh. I’ll just get an iced tea.” 

“Really?” Minho asked a little confused. “Is that it?” 

“Yup!” Jisung said popping the P at the end. 

“Okay?”

Jisung watched at the other boy walked up to the counter to buy their orders. He felt his stomach ache at the smells of such sweet foods. He wanted so desperately to eat them, but he knew he shouldn’t. 

 

Minho walked back after a few minutes with a tray holding two iced teas and two banana nut muffins. 

“I didn’t ask for that.” Jisung said referring to the muffin. 

“I know.” 

The younger stared at the older for a second, confused by what he meant. 

“Why did you buy it?” 

“Because i heard your stomach growl right before i got up.” 

“I-” He was at a loss for words. “Thank you.” Jisung could feel his eyes begin to water. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable. I just- i heard your stomach growling and i got scared you hadn’t eaten yet. I shouldn’t have over stepped i’m sorry.” 

Now Jisung felt guilty. He shouldn’t have been so selfish that he made the older feel so bad. 

“No it’s fine. It’s nothing. I was just being a big dumbie.” Jisung stabbed his fork into the muffin and took a bite. “Yummy,” he said with a full mouth. 

It seemed to make Minho visibly relax. 

‘ _Stop_ _it_. _You’re going to make yourself uglier.’_

But Jisung didn’t stop. He finished his muffin and drank his tea all with a smile. It was worth the pain if he got to see Minho smile. 

 

The date seemed to go without any mishaps. They talked a lot about where Minho went to school, their future plans, and hobbies. One topic Jisung made sure to avoid, was the one on hybrids. 

Everything went well, they left the coffee shop around 10pm and said goodbye to the owners, who let them stay a few minutes past closing time. 

The next thing Jisung knew, Minho was pressing him against the wall, but before he could process anything, all he heard was the older boy say, “Can i kiss you?” 

Jisung made a sound, similar to a squeak, but Minho still took it as a yes anyway. And the next thing they knew, they were kissing against the side of the coffee shop. 

Their lips melted into one another’s softly. Jisung wrapped his arms around the taller’s neck, while Minho rested his hands on Jisung’s waist. 

They kept the kiss innocent and soft, not wanting to go too far for their first date. 

“Wow,” Minho said as he pulled away. “That was nice.” 

Jisung blushed. “I liked it too.” 

“I don’t know what it is about you, but i really like you.” 

Jisung leaned forward and pressed his head against the older’s chest. “You can’t say that kind of stuff unexceptedly. My heart is too weak for this.” 

Minho chuckled and went to push Jisung’s hair back to leave a kiss on his forehead. But before Jisung could register what Minho’s hand was doing, it was too late. 

Suddenly, his beanie was off, revealing his ear and the stub. 

“Jisung,” Minho said in shock. “I-” 

The younger boy was too in the moment to realize what had happened, but that soon changed when he realized the beanie Minho was holding, was his. 

Suddenly his world came shattering down. His legs felt numb, and his vision blurry. His heart raced, and he next thing he knew, he was running away as fast as he could from Minho. 

There’s no way he could face Minho now. No more. He couldn’t face Minho, now that Minho knew, he is a monster.

 

•

 

A month went by since he last saw Minho. He hasn’t gone to school since. Jisung’s refused to get out of bed, unless it was to get some water, or eat the little bit of food he needed to survive. 

He’s thought about killing himself. There is a hidden razor under the sink in his bathroom that his mom doesn’t know about. 

Late at night, he would cut the insides of his thighs. Sometimes, he would cut his arms, or dare himself to make one deep long cut along his neck. 

Other nights, he would sit on his bed with an empty bottle of pills in one hand, and the pills in his other, daring himself to just take them and be over with it. 

Minho knows he’s a monster now. There’s no way he could love something as disgusting as him. 

 

Jisung has written two fics in the meantime since then. 

One titled “The Flowers from my Love (The Ones You Will Never Recieve)” and the other was named “Dangerous Love.” 

Jisung remembers breaking-down and crying as he wrote them. They felt too real and too similar. It hurt him too much. 

**Comment on “‘The Flowers from...’”**

**Comment on “‘The Flowers from...’”**

**Comment on “‘Dangerous Love’”**

Despite how horrible he felt, Jisung still decided to the comments, in hopes they would make him feel better. 

 

 **Scene_Stealers** - :'(((((( This is sad ...but i love the last part  
"These flowers. The ones that he owns, the ones that he’s cursed with. They are the flowers of his love. The ones he owns, and the ones Felix, will never receive. "  
That's like so deep ...but really fitting too .  
Oh ..and good luck with your exams !!

 **Andrea250** - That ending "These flowers. The ones that he owns, the ones that he's cursed with. They are the flowers of his love. The ones he owns, and the ones Felix, will never receive."

This part really hurt my heart. It struck a cord in me author-nim.

 

To his surprise, the comments really did make him feel better. 

 **Scene_** **Stealers** \-  Omg that was a twist in the end..I actually thought that felix and jeongin would end up together :'( poor jeonginie :'((((  
But the seunjin tho ❤ahh my ultimate OTP (for now ..it'll probably be displaced by changpil in the next vlive or something ) ..It's like the cutest ship ever (changpil is CUUTE too so is woochan but still ^^)

 

Scene_stealers was such a common name that showed up, Jisung felt his heart flutter every time he saw they had left a comment. He’s never met them, but he hopes they know how much they mean to him. 

After reading the comments, Jisung did feel a little bit better. 

He did his best to ignore the texts and calls coming from Minho. The older wouldn’t stop asking Jisung if they could talk, or if he could see Jisung. 

But as much as the squirrel wanted to see Minho, he knew it was for the best that they didn’t see eachother. 

 

•

 

Avoiding Minho wasn’t that hard to be honest. He just stayed in his room, and ignored any calls coming from from the boy, but that changed when his bedroom door opened, not to reveal his mother, but to reveal Minho. 

“I-” Before he could realize it, he felt tears pouring down his face. “Minho- What are you doing here?” 

The older boy closed the door and sat down on the bed next to Jisung. 

“I needed to see you.” He was playing with some piece of fabric in his hands, which Jisung soon realized was his beanie.  

“You still have it.” The shock obvious on Jisung’s face.

Minho smiled fondly. “Of course i do. Why wouldn’t i?” 

“Why do you want to see me?” He paused, holding back a sob. “I’m disgusting. I’m horrible. I’m fat. Ugly. Stupid. I- I’m a fucking monster. A fucking squirrel hybrid. What do you want from me? Do you want to take my other ear? Huh? Is that it? Fucking take it? It’s not like i’m going to need it anyway. Not after i kill myself.” He felt himself start clawing at the scars that rested on his arms.

Minho, to in shock to produce any sound, simply took Jisung in his arms, and didn’t let go. 

Jisung felt himself stiffen. His body froze, and he was unable to act, but the familiar feeling of Minho’s warmth, and hands on his body reminded him of when things were good. 

“Jisung. You’re so much more than any of that. I- I love you.” 

His eyes widened at Minho’s confession. Jisung pulled back immediately. “Why? Why do you love me? Can’t you see i’m just a mistake?” 

“Oh my Jisungie. You’re not a mistake.” 

“Why are you doing this? Are you just trying to butter me up so i’ll let you fuck me?” His breathing soon became erratic. “Fine. I don’t care.” He began taking off his pants. “Just get it fucking over with. It wouldn’t be the first time.” 

Minho grasper Jisung’s hands, firm but comforting. 

“Stop this. Please.” His pleas we’re becoming desperate. “Jisung i really do love you. I don’t care about what you se as your imperfections. To me, you’re perfection. I don’t care that you’re a hybrid. It’s not going to stop me from loving you.” 

“I- I don’t know what to say?” Jisung wipes his tears on Minho’s gray sweatshirt. Neither of them cared if it got stained with tears. 

“Say you’ll be my boyfriend. Say that you love me too. Say that you will accept my love, and let me help you get better.” 

“I don’t know.” Jisung rubbed his arm, avoiding Minho’s eyes. “I don’t know if i believe you.”

Suddenly, he felt something soft on his head. It covered his hair and ears. Minho opened his front camera on his phone and showed it to Jisung. What Jisung saw, he was wearing his beanie. 

“Look at yourself. Look at how beautiful you are. Beanie or not, you are amazing. You are perfect. Will you let me help you get better?”

Jisung rubbed the fabric between his fingers, almost as if he was shocked he even had it. He directed his gaze once again to Minho. 

And for the first time today, Jisung smiled. 

 

“Yes.”

 

 

 

 

Epilogue

A year later, and Jisung and Minho were still going out on dates. Minho decided to take Jisung to his favorite restaurant this time as a change.

Jisung was wearing his favorite beanie once again, but with a twist. 

If you look at the top of his head, you would see a single squirrel ear, sticking out of a cut on the purple beanie. 

 

He was getting better. Jisung was getting better. 

Not only does he have Minho to thank, he has his readers as well, who helped him through his darkest time.

Throughout the entire month of January, Jisung was writing a thank you story for his readers.

 

So, he finished his one year anniversary story on January 30th 2019, and posted it. He called it, “Thank You”. 

 

 

Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> fUCK INCRIED SO HARD WRITING THIS. literally it took me over an hour to beta read this every time i did. I only proof read it twice so i hope it’s good. 
> 
> AGAIN I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. 
> 
> i want to list down all of those who i have noticed in this past year to give you recognition BUT I DONT WANNA LEAVE ANYONE OUT SO JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL. PLEASE KNOW I LOVE YOU. YOU ALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND SEEING YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. 
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME SUCH A HAPPY YEAR. AND THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME ALL THIS TIME. 
> 
> I LOVE YOU!!!!!!  
> HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!


End file.
